Violence and secrecy: Vic Tamati speaks about his experience
Gayle Helm, left, and Emma Brazendale: Community onwership is the key to reducing family violence. Photo: Neil Wilson.
Only about 20 percent of family violence is ever reported, but the nationwide campaign against it will take an important step locally next week.
Vic Tamati, one of the faces of the “It’s Not OK” television ads, will address school assemblies and a public meeting in Golden Bay.
“Vic’s story is so powerful,” says Gayle Helm, the Nelson/Tasman Te Rito Family Violence co-ordinator. “He’s a former victim of violence who went on to inflict it on others. He reaches people in different ways and really holds an audience. People will want to hear more.”
Emma Brazendale, Golden Bay’s Family Violence worker, said that experience has shown that Vic’s talks always lead to some people disclosing their experience of family violence, so there will be very careful support available wherever Vic speaks.
“When people decide to disclose their experiences it’s a good outcome,” said Gayle. “We need to get people talking. We want to expose the rampant evil that loves to hide in ignorance and darkness. Family violence thrives on secrecy and when high-profile people like Vic come to communities like this, it gets talked about and exposed. Then we can start seeing it for what it really is – a desire to control others that comes out of the damaged parts of you.”
Gayle and Emma explained that community ownership is the key to reducing family violence.
“When people say ‘we don’t have a problem here’, then we have a problem,” said Emma. “You only have to look at the police statistics in our community to see that family violence is being reported more and more often. We have to change people’s perspectives on how families are meant to be.”
Gayle agreed.
“In an average year, 14 women, 10 children and 6 men are killed through family violence. People may think that shouting, screaming and slapping are the ways to resolve conflict but this isn’t the way it has to be,” she said. “Vic is living proof of the fact that there is a right way to break the cycle.”
Vic Tamati will address a Golden Bay High School assembly on Monday morning, a Collingwood Area School assembly on Monday afternoon and a public meeting at the Community Centre on Monday evening. The public meeting starts at 6pm but there are light refreshments available from 5.30 onwards. The Community Workers are asking people to let them know if they are intending to come so that they can cater for everyone. Phone 525 9728.
Neil Wilson
